Blue Lace Agate

There are things I haven’t been able to say.
So many words I’ve left unsaid.
Sometimes I’ll feel a choking sensation in my throat.
Like right now.

I used to frequent the library as a child.
Books were and still are, a source of great joy for me.
I remember borrowing this giant gemstone book.
It would be renewed over and over again.

I’ve always been a fan of Astrology.
The first book I ever bought myself was an Aquarius book.
I still have it.
Astrology is far more than your run-of-the-mill sun sign horoscopes.
I’ve studied it intensely for years.
This particular interest of mine, however, I’ve had to keep hidden for fear of persecution and ridicule.
I would hate to have to defend myself against someone who has never bothered to understand but who will fight you to death based on their rigid opinion alone.
It seems easier to just keep quiet about what really excites me.
When people argue with me like this, it feels like they think my choices are stupid and by association, assume that I am stupid.

I recall times in my life,
where the other party would ask me a question.
But when I answer, I could see that they are not listening.
As if they asked the question not to get an answer, but to hear their own voice sing.
It makes me sad every time it happens.
They never hesitate to offload all their troubles and frustrations onto me though.

I’ve come to really detest being talked at.
And hate people who do nothing but complain about matters which do not concern them.
I refuse to waste my time with such individuals.

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