Contamination

I am deathly afraid of contamination.
It bothers me when others touch my things.
I can always tell if there has been a visitor in the house while I was away.
They leave behind their scent.
And it is foreign.
And I do something about it.

At work, I used to keep a can of lysol wipes by my desk.
Because people would come and start typing on my keyboard or using my mouse without warning.
If I didn’t clean my stuff,
I would feel a film of their leftover… whatever it is.

I’ve only bought things from the thrift store twice.
Once was when I was still in university.
Thrifting was just starting to become trendy.
And my good friend/room mate at the time wanted to go check it out.
Because a mutual friend of ours shopped almost exclusively at thrift stores.
And she would find high end fashion labels for bargain bin prices.

I found a very interesting looking beaded clutch for $5.
So I bought it.
But that item made me very uncomfortable.
And I was afraid to use or even touch it.
I ended up giving it to my roommate.
She loved it.

The second time was in Tokyo.
My friend and I had met a stranger in Osaka who was also from our city.
He joined us for a while.
And took us to this long street of second hand stores.
All the items were so interesting.

Feeling angry that I haven’t been able to buy any clothing in Japan,
I searched relentlessly for something.
Anything I could bring back home with me.
There was a navy blue cropped sweater with white polka dots.
It turned out to be $20 USD approximately.
Good enough.

I washed it a million times when I got home.
And let it air dry in the sun.
It still felt contaminated to me.
I was afraid to wear it.
Afraid to place it amongst my other articles of clothing.
It ended up being donated anyways.

I had a friend who would always force me to take her old clothing or accessories.
Even if I declined adamantly.
She would always have a reason ready.
To prove why I am wrong.
Eventually she felt it was her business to approve of every decision I made in life.

I like to keep my environment pure.
Have my stuff cleaned.
And keep my mind sane.

Thank you.

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